The hardest time of the year to live in China is now, the holiday season. It is the time of year that simply can be enjoyed in the far east. It is quintessentially western. Whereas strolling on the streets of Paris or attending a church service in London would render the spirits of yore and the tidings of Christmas cheer, a Christmas spent in China feels forced. The few Christmas lights that don the streets are overpowered by the neon signs of blaring Hanyu Characters. The Santa hats worn by hotel attendants and waitresses appear out of place. They are an obvious act of pandering to western expats, and Shenzhen happens to have the largest community of expats of any other city in China. The smooth jazz versions of typical Christmas carols that can be heard in the subway stations are merely background music to the reality that Christmas in China is not really Christmas at all. Really I wish Shenzhen wouldn't even try. This year I am looking forward to New Years Eve more than I am Christmas. But really, the main reason why Christmas eludes me this year isn't the anomaly of Christmas decorations placed along side Duck restaurants and electronics factories. It's the simple lack of the most important element of Christmas, family. This is the first Christmas I am away from home, completely by myself. I will have a party to attend, mostly attended by people I would feel uncomfortable even calling acquaintances, and i will have my girlfriend to spend Christmas day with. But such a dramatic change from my usual Christmas change is a hard pill to take. Usually I spend Christmas with a large family 5 grandparents, 8 grandchildren in all, and several aunts, uncles, and distant relatives. Music would be lively as my Uncle Gary would play Christmas songs on the piano and my Uncle Karlo would play traditional Finnish music on the accordion. My grandmother would proceed to rally the grandchildren in joining in a traditional Finnish dance while one of the older family members would dress as Santa Claus and distribute presents to the grandchildren. These were the things that formed the image of Christmas for me. Now that I am at the opposite side of the earth, the sight of a Christmas tree reveals no magic. All I can see is the plastic reality of a rather odd cultural tradition, what I imagine most Chinese people think when they look upon the same object. But as David Bowie once said "Turn and face the strain. Time may change me but I can't change time." This year has been a year of change for me. I've graduated from college, I'm in a new country, and one of my grandfathers has passed away. In truth, Ive lost a big part of my life up to this point, the excuse of childhood naivety. The Mayan prediction of the end of the world may not have come to pass, but I will say that this year I witnessed the end of my world as I knew it. Christmas is an opportune time to reflect upon your personal experiences of the past year. Perhaps this year, I need to look back further, throughout the entire first segment of my life. In a way, this year's Christmas represents an opportunity to say farewell because as I see it I have reached the future I have been told about for so many years. However, it must be understood in this written catharsis that this year's Christmas shouldn't be seen as funeral of childhood but rather as a baptismal of a new life. I will never be able to return to these days of childhood and college, but at least I can say that they were happy, pleasant, and musical. Most importantly, they were a good foundation for the next segment of my life, one that will pass as well, and probably way too soon. But there is one thing that is certain about my future Christmases. They won't all be without family as is the case with this year. With that I end with this Christmas message. "Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow. Hang a shining star upon the highest bow, and have yourself a Merry little Christmas now."
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